THE WAR ON SLEEP. MUM 0. HARRY 1.
Don't. Move. Too. Quickly. He is sleeping.
As I write this he sleeps in my arms. So the war on sleep continues.
It's funny the reasons we mums create to explain why our babies won't sleep - “Oh he's just over tired, over stimulated, has colic, is teething, he's hungry, he's too full...” – they are all just band aid conditions used to conveniently cover the fact that we have no god damn clue!
But we super mums can't admit to that. Surely not.
Instead we talk about how teething can last for months before there is even any sign of a tooth, we say this can happen anywhere between four and 10 months of age. We like to give ourselves a nice big window.
We talk about colic which is not even understood by doctors, and is best described as a sort of reflux, upset tummy, windy type condition. We like to keep it vague and open to interpretation.
We have created enough band aid conditions so that no mum need ever again admit to having a difficult baby.
Well I am going to rip off the band aids I have been layering over my sleep deprived child in a bid to mask my unattractive parenting failures. If I do it quickly maybe the social judgement might not hurt so much.
My baby hates to sleep.
It is a constant war. If I am to win a battle, it is only because I've spent half an hour pacing the house, bopping him up and down, and humming in his ear.
I guess you could say that I never really win.
Damn those Huggies ads where a mother looks lovingly at a sleeping child whilst wind softly blows her styled hair.
Firstly, new mums don't have styled hair. Secondly, babies don't sleep if there is a soft wind.
I ran into a dad the other day whose two month old breastfed baby already sleeps 10 straight hours a night. In all seriousness I wanted to head butt him.
Are these advertisements and parents just cruel torturous tools sent to rub salt into our poorly covered wounds?
As a friend kindly pointed out, perhaps the mother of that two month old breastfed baby might not have agreed with dad's 10 hours consecutive sleep claim – but that is another issue entirely.
I may be fighting a losing battle, but never has defeat smelt so sweet, and never has snoring in my ear sounded so delightful.
Goodnight for now.
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